oh dining staff

I'M STRESSED AND I WANT RICE.

in the retelling.

I was pulling and pulling on the door and I was like "Why is it locking me in???????" *sad desperate face*

Woman at the cafe: "...It's a push door"

"My hand is writing so fast I can't see what's going on."

"I need to stop swearing. It's like my mouth is a separate entity from my body."

it's like that fishing game for adults. instead of trying to get the fishy thing you have to get this thing in the hole.

"Do you want me to go get it later, like in 2010?"

"That was when you left us alone at Camp Sunshine."

"Where was I?"

"Taking your exam."

"Oh, that wasn't my fault then."

I forgot I don't have a shirt on

I think we broke the first year

i think you break me everyday

yeeeah

"The Advil's sitting there just looking at you, saying 'loooove me.'"

"But the bathroom is the dirtier one of the two. She's all naked and stuff."

i thought you meant tolls with one L

no, though i want to add 25 cents to after the word toll

Showers are Good

I'll be back...and I'll be clean

So fresh and so clean, clean

last night of finals takes its toll

when is too much alliteration too much?

repetitive papers

My paper is fucking 30 pages long. I don't have that many thoughts.

"You know her middle name actually is Jasmine."

"Ohhhh, does she have trousers like mine?"

but inside the castle walls

the tigers are like the angry lesbians

oh, yes...i can't believe i didn't make that connection

on discussing whether you can have conversations in the shower

i don't think you can hear, trust me we've tried.

it's ok, it'll just be nice to know someone is there. someone to hear me scream.

more on leaving the castle walls

"I don't need him to be a royal. I mean, I don't want the Aladdin peasantry kind."

press the ball, but hold it because it needs a second


...that's what she said.

What About Menapause?

can you imagine if everyone in the senate were a woman and there menstral cycles were all at the same time, that shit would be so intense

the living room

you're at camp sunshine annex!!!!

the library? NO the living room

Senator BIRD

The longer you're there the better committees you get to chair

Yeah, Wheelchair

MSNBC

Wait why is it a dinosaur not an elephant...THAT'S not the right animal...

"You were here for these."

"Yeah, but I don't know where I was in the brain."

"That is inappropriate for Camp Sunshine."

"This is not a sexual camp."

"You have a lot of passion."

"We should date!"

"Do you have a penis?"

"Yeah, I got one last week."

"They fell through the door...with their passion."

On Lady Gaga

"What if we could meet her? And bring her to Camp Sunshine?...Let's kidnap her!"

Overheard by a camper I or "The Jews aren't the only ones with conspiracies"

"It's as if the government decided as a design point that only disgusting food will be served on Amtrak trains. It seems strategic. They went out and did the best job they could to find nasty food and that's what they're selling here."

"Do you like my Jasmine trousers? It's like I can't leave the castle....What?... She couldn't leave the walls. I also have a tiger for a friend."

getting priorities straight

obviously the first thing I did when i came back downstairs was check the blog

you know, I love things big and long and hard.

the library in the chapin house dining room

I think I have some reading to do.

You have some books over there.

lost in translation

count it!

what does that mean? count it for what?

it's an American thing.

On Bazooka

"That's Jew gum!"

"It's everybody gum."

We Love Supermarket Sweep

"When I played baseball, I was the futility infielder."

"Are we ready for some Supermarket Sweep?"

"I'm ready to sweep the floor with you."

"That's not really what she asked."

one time we were at the deli for lunch

wow that is the most jewish way to start a story

"Wait, how do YOU spell fetus?"

it shouldn't be a competition that we have, who can make a creepier face and then who can make a creepier version of the same face

"OH MY GOD I have so many windows open I'm going to vomit."

Luckily they gave us benches

I took naps on here.

I did things to them while they were napping.

Not to me.

That is what you think.

Deportation

When I get married I'll have an emerald engagement ring to match my green card

"You squeezed my hips too tight!"

"I don't want a picture like this?"

"It's necessary."

I'm leaving

i missed my bit!

in response to the lady gaga's christmas tree song

The only place you'll want to be is underneath my Christmas tree

does that mean she has a penis?

It is still on replay

Am I allergic to anything?

Maybe this song?

I think that we can all have music. I just don't think we should cra.

"I wonder if I can video chat with myself?"

From a fallen camper

The longer I sit here and read this the more I miss the glory of camp sunshine.

"But I don't think Lady Gaga is trying to get a job in the Senate. And if she were, I don't think it would be very successful."

"Oh, you're good. I felt so weightless!"

"If I came back the weekend of the 14th or 15th, can we get drunk before Monday night?"

"Why'd you hit him?"

"I mean, I got angry. I would just push him."

"They'll be like 'there's some snow out there, and oh look, there's a penguin.'"

"The problem I have with the American language is that because you pronounce things funnily, it means that when I write things out phonetically, it is never the same word."

fuck, balls, my ass

Getting Stiffed on Wine & Cheese

Non-Profits don't pay you enough to be an alcoholic

"If making it onto the blog is our measure of success, we have all aced finals."

"I was thinking on my way to the bathroom, why didn't they just call the public option 'Camp Sunshine?' People would have liked it way more then."

"We shared the carrot and the Milano cookies...now we can be lovers."

"I wish I were drunk so this could be excusable."

I just shut the blog, you can't do that shit to me

"I might cut all my hair off before the exam. It's all static-y and I already rubbed a dryer sheet on it."

"I don't want to look exhausted, like from lack of sleep."

"This country was not built by men in suits. It was built by women without shirts...it was built by boobs."

Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner BATMANNNN!

My weird squishy thing doesn't look like that.

I like things in my bed to be hard.

"they cool off, and then there's a weird squishy thing in bed with me"

I think I'm the only one on campus who really likes TARP

I can tell you a lot about the baby Jesus

"yeah, but that's still more north than anything in the south . . . "

"there's an awkward central area where . . . none of us want it"

inches of snow v. pages left to write

"that's not apples and apples, that's like apples and porcupines"

"Show that supply and demand curve who's boss!"

"Our numbers have diminished but our enthusiasm has not."

"I had the page settings wrong, so it is 20 pages instead of 8."

"Why don't you just delete some of it?"

Looking like a present

Can someone give her a real ribbon for christmas? It is just sad packing twine.

"It's getting really sad."

"What?"

"The lack of Christmas."

i want to lay on the table and giggle

i thought you said you wanted the table to giggle

"we broke the first year again!!"

no killing at camp sunshine!!

on checking your document settings

omg, i just wrote a 20 page paper instead of an 8 page one because my computer was set to legal size!!

after sticking the whole thing in her mouth

"did you just spit it out?"

"yeah, that's all i wanted"

i would say i can see your halo but we know that's a lie since it doesn't exist

i'm ok with that

horns i say, HORNS

On General Anestisia

I've never been so happy, I'm surprised I didn't start doing drugs after that

"Give me a piggyback."

"No."

"Then don't touch my ass!"

Taking off your clothes does not fix this problem.

"Michael Jackson was weird because he didn't seem real enough to die."

Tiger Woods?

No silly he's a cheeetah

What?

He's not a tiger anymore he's a cheeetah!

"If I'm not back in 30 minutes, can someone come looking for me?"

nobody went down on me

"He's hipper than I am."

"You soooo hip."

"It's like playing volleyball...MINE...MINE...MINE...or I guess any sport."

"I was going to give you a wet willy, but then I didn't really want to get my finger wet and stick it in your ear."

"You are setting a very poor example. I am very impressionable."

"I'll show you backpack . . ."

"I'll brush your fireplace!"

I am the medal, people want me!

"It's like Thanksgiving in my mouth!"

"if she said that you know what she would be? she'd be the neighborhood ho!"

"OMG, there is an article on the New York Times about students who get rid of Facebook for finals."

"WHY DIDN'T THEY CONTACT ME?!'

Our feelings about Britain, Dale

"nothing makes sense in your country! that's why we made a new one!"

"My love for you is so strong. But, look, I have a stain on my boob."

Papa-papa-razzi

"I didn't understand what they were saying, I thought it was bubble-bubble-gum"

203

"I mean we're pretty funny"

"That can go up too"

"I think it already is a couple times"

"I'm ok with it"

"Bubblegum!"

"the child ate my roll. . . i drank some more wine"

"Are you naked!?!"

"Can I help you?"

more metta

When did I become the blog bitch?

"I'm not friends with my cousin. I should fix that."

"You look like you have a giant earplug in your mouth?"

"Do you KNOW what a marshmallow looks like?!"

"Who are you talking to?"

"The people on MSNBC. The senators, I mean."

On listening to Borat music

"This is what my grandmother listens to at night. And then she pulls out a handkerchief and says, 'let's dance!'"

"They did it on purpose?"

"They got into the elevator on purpose, they didn't get stuck on purpose."

Next to Godliness?

"I would just say that he, having long hair, and me, not liking that, there would be a disconnect, like we were from different cultures."

"What kind of cheese is that?"

"Well, it says brie cheese and crackers, so I'm going with brie cheese and crackers."

"There are a lot of things I can't provide, like sex."

"You have knocked on the door of indecency and too much self-exposure."

Hand Gestures

Your heart exploded?

No

Your boob?

"Guys, I have a headache in my nose."

Dead Plants

I was kidding

No sex for you tonight

"Why is there glitter on my notes?"

"I spit on it. I spit glitter now."

STOP!!!

hahahahaha, I grabbed her ass!

"This flower was for her. But it died, and I'm not going to give her a dead plant."

on abortion

i only know the court cases, not how it affects regular people

you're like a supreme court judge

when are you taking your exam? maybe tomorrow, maybe next tuesday?

no... that would be too late

you have four heads

whooaaa .... it's like i'm an insect

on novices at their first tournaments who then date people who used to live in chapin

we took her to dc and we couldn't wake her up so he kicked her

gay men like penis

Supermarket Sweep

I want to just go crazy in a supermarket one night, can we do that for my 30th birthday

Landscape Studies

She doesn't care about trees, she just cares about bombs

"Billy Mays. Aw, man, I forgot about that SHAMWOW."

On Brittany Murphy's tragic death

"I wonder if Ashton Kutcher is going to be at her funeral?... I wonder if Rumer and Scout will come?"

PSA

don't do drugs

I love cute dads

It made my ovaries hurt

"She's not like the girl next door or the neighborhood whore. She is something else entirely."

more metablogging

put that on the blog!

no! that was in reference to something that's already on the blog

Halo

Out of my mouth

"Show the genitive who's BOSS!"

"Kill the dead language"

"Oooh, we have 168. We should try to get to 40 before dinner."

"So you mean 200? OOH, WE ARE ALREADY ON OUR WAY THERE!"

And they say they invented the language...

"only three more exams and three days of exams!"

"One a day, it's like a multi-vitahhhmin."

"What?!"

"A multivitamin."

on going into people's rooms whilst they're asleep

you woke up, looked at me, called me a creeper and turned around

was that only yesterday??

you're so soft, like seal blubber

more on waxing

it's Christmas! you have to trim both trees

ooooooh! YAWNRAPE!

oh I feel oddly traumatised

"After 12 years of Catholic school, I think I can pretty much take the verbal abuse."

"Wait, why am I looking at a website for disposable cameras?"

they come in and they're like WTFISTHAT?

oh so pretty! is that parliament?

no, it's the national gallery

there are layers of purple

it's like an onion!

i guess at this point i'm not surprised about the things that come out of her mouth

but you don't know what i put in

no beans before my bikini wax

most random comment of the night

guys, in case you were wondering episodes of supermarket sweep are on youtube!

"I'll beat him up and you give him an A."

As She Strokes

Nice subtle touch...that's what she said

Once I had the worst cramps ever, that fish had my back

re: the birthday sex song

I wonder if i heard this on my birthday?

i'll be yo' fishy

"If someone says one more funny thing, we'll be at 150!...Oh wait, I can just put that on."

"Hey cracker."

"That's insulting. I am a saltine."

can i get in on some of this stretching action?

yeeeeah

on gettin' ready to beat some hoes

can we have team purple stretch time?

we-hoooo I am loaded

That's what she said, he said

I don't know who I sent it to if you didn't receive it

"Literally every 20 mintues"

"Breaks the seal"

Math at Smith

A: These may be the blandest things ever

B: But 3 of them are 60 calories with lots of fiber

C: Which would make 1 of them 20

B: Ohhhhhhhh, yeah

"I need to act professional."

"Are you going to get changed?"

Making Your Way Down Dance Party Alley?

"You were probably the best dancer in your high school, weren't you?"

"I'm a one woman karaoke."

"You're not funny."

"Yes I am funny. I'm on the blog."

heHAHAHA wait, wait

Did you say lepers or lovers?

omg i forgot about the blog for like ten minutes

on the senate sleepover

it's like camp sunshine but on capitol hill

possession: got

"I wouldn't even try to get naked and hump her in the office."

No names...to protect the innocent

"You look like an '80s pop star...like you're in Boy George's background band or something."

NO I will not give you a little peeky peeky

"If you leave, I could BE you."

"Oh yeah, when are you going to talk about science? You can't talk about bumpity bumps like I do!"

girl, go get me some grits.

on recognising yourself from TFLN

omg I am never going to make the peace sign because maybe 717 is talking about me!

"Beyonce is 28 and Jay-Z is...800."

"I printed my paper. It is too big for me to staple on my own."

"When it starts to snow, anyone want to go to the window and look at it?"

on brazilian waxing

How was it?

It hurt

But I bet it looks awesome

I went like that, and then I did that

which class is it for?

neuro. and that's when you know your. life. sucks.

You know you want it

You're right, I do want it

It's so good

Where?

It's in my crack shack

"Good luck!"

"What are you taking? Physiology?"

"No, I'm getting a Brazilian."

I feel like Lady Gaga, only half of my nails are painted

more metablogging - on liking the blog

- i think it's because he appreciates the political jokes and sexual innuendos

- i mean, that's pretty much it

on first years to exams

remember, done is better than good but good is also good.

"Make that exam your bitch!"

on being the foreign one

- I just called my senator

- I don't have a senator, oh wait! you can be my senator

- oh yeeeah

I don't think that's the kind of banana she needs right now.

Did your phone ring? I felt my vibrate.

Maybe you farted.

It's a jungle down there. I can't navigate through it.

"I could only hiss because I can't speak Parseltongue."

"American political structure suggests that you should be a mayor. . . but you can be a powerful mayor like Bloomberg!"

She Only Likes Me For the Articles

"I like your style...guide."

more metablogging

- I'm so glad we made this blog

- I think it's great for our lives

A: you're a mermaid? have you been hiding your webbed feet from us?

B: no

C: but i have webbed hands!

"that's like congestion charging, Roman style!"

wait. he's dead and we respect the dead.

"I see rainbows all around and not just because I'm at Smith."

Wait, this week, no I'm not with you guys

We will have you soon enough

"do you watch it on the television?"
"I watch it on the podcast"

It's a waist halo

I think thats called a hula hoop

action

person-to-remain-annonymous does an interpretive (read: provocative) dance of Beyonce's Halo

"I know you're a Jew, but that's not what a halo looks like!"

can you rummage through Rachel's box?

"I am a gangster. I rowed in the hood for five years."

reasons to wear underwear (while streaking)

it's eight degrees outside. your pubes would freeze.

"Rachel gets to be on our boobs!"

"I'm so vulgar. I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight."

When TFLN Starts To Dominate Your Life

"What are those numbers? I always wondered."

"YOU ARE DUMB. D. U. M . . . B"

when your computer has died

"Do you want a brownie??"
"Yeah, I'll get fat. That will help!"

"you guys are like a presence!"

"i'm going to go in there and be like 'i'm the sigtarp tzar, what do you have to say about that?!'"

it's like a fake Jew name because it has Shabbat in it

on 80th reunions

I mean, if they were like I could read Readers' Digest or go to my reunion...

I don't think Smith alums would say that

Well they would if their hip is broken

"I had a hard time keeping a straight face with gay sex on the board."

"Can we listen to shorty melody?"

oh! that is your head! OMG!

she sucks so fucking much, you're all not allowed to like her

Shockingly no one flies from AMSTERDAM to HARTFORD Connecticut....

No one goes to reyjkavik becasue theyve got no moneys

"that's not a nail, that's a screw"

"that's not a nail, that's a screw"

"I was going to send an email."

"To whom?"

"Who the fuck knows."

"i don't have my stylus with me"

"put your banana away"

"i used my finger as a stylus"

"there is so much love at camp at the moment"

"i'm prairie-dogging this paper"

now it's lemon goop

"what is it?"

". . . my computer COOKED it!"

on gulags

"camp sunshine is less like a camp and becoming more like a prison"

"false. it is a proxy for Russia in the 50s"

my soul is cringing

"It's quiet time! Let's be quiet . . . but also check the blog"

"when I was younger, bywhich I mean when I was a sophomore in high school, I used to think Vladimir was a title because there were so many Russians with that name"

"I feel like she stole our house."

"I mean, it still seems to be here."

"Yeah, but she covered her face."

"You're a troubled asset."

"I have a relief program!"

Nice Work, Fido

"They say 'Lucy, you got 'splainin to do."

"Yeah, they totally do. Like when she ate the pens."

In reference to dessert toppings

You look like a walrus.

"My agent should respond to me within moments."

I want Cho Bodiiii

What?

Need Yo Body

Ohh, that's not what I thought you said

Wait, what did you...oh, OHHH EWWW, that's like insest

And just wrong

"I found it! It was under a pile of Communist things on my desk."

dens of sin

Brothels?

"i have so little patience for inequality!"

I like lots of nuts

I don't think that's true

"you are the light of my life"
"like kaballah!"

And a tree top goes on a tree

one of the professors was lying on the floor with a student...and one of them was engaged in something...

on velour sweatpants

"are these soft?"

"they're Juicy"

"Let's all pretend to be really quiet and studious and phase her out."

"Or we could actually be quiet and studious..."

"It's like metablogging...you should put that on the blog."

"Oh my god, my bladder is out of whack."

"You have a really good Taylor Swift voice."

"I wish they wrote the song for me. Then I could be rich."

"I was gonna say that if you hear voices in the bathroom, that's why!'

If you went to the safehouse it would be kind of like going to a crackhouse

"I can't wait until we get a TV show!"

. . . then you talk to them and they're dumb as rocks!

(ps i now have to put in a word verification because i've made too many posts today. already)

"I'm hilarious. My old goal was to get in people's Facebook quotes. Then my goal was to get in people's GChat statuses. Now my goal is to get on the blog"

an observation (not overheard)

@ campsunshine
we are being judged by UGLY PEOPLE

on the wearing of berets

"I think I'm wearing it backwards"

"I don't think either of us has lice."

"Oh, BIRTHDAY SEX CAME ON!"

"Aww, you've been waiting for that!"

"This is so many pages."

"How many is it?"

"...So many."

"Everyone can hear her, but no one sees her. She's kind of like Peeves. But I guess you can see Peeves, so more like the basilisk."

"I like your pants, they remind me of Peter Pan"

in reference to Beyonce's Halo

"I used to cry but now I like it because I can get all the way through tear-free"

You go to Smith. Learn the english language.

"I got up since 9 o'clock"

"guys, it's only 10am and we've already lost it"

"OMG it was Jumpin' Jumpin' really loudly...I feel like I'm at a middle school dance."

"What is that magic wand?"

more on small town airports

"dude, your airport looks just like mine"

"really? it does?"

"yeah, I just looked up your airport map"

---------

"was it an airport map or a gate map"

"an airport map, those small ones don't get both"

on small town airports

"question: are all your gates on one floor?"

"interesting, I believe Cedar Rapids has 10"

I can see your halo!

. . . that was powerful.

Well it was too big to put the WHOLE thing in my mouth

*** farm animal sounds ***

Nutsacks seemed pretty organic

"We are basically an NGO now...we have a charter and a blog. Now all we need is a board of advisors and a staff. And a purpose."

Maybe your itis-es are spreading. Are your itis-es spreading?

I think my itis-es are spreading. . .

Maybe it was because her iPod was stuck on Replay, Replay

Nicely Played

I used to love going there, they had the best magnets

"PEEKABOO!...I'm like an uncircumcised penis."

"she took her penis off"

"I WAS FREE!"

Even half eaten it's still hard...that's what she said

"too much oestrogen in the room"

"that's why I tried to grow a penis"

"It looks like kindergarten...on a menorah."

"She wanted to buy a fake penis to play with."

"She almost did, but she couldn't find one in the right color."

"I'm a woman again!"

We'll keep her secret when she runs for President

"This is so juvenile . . . I can't even get over myself. If people could only see me right now in this room . . ."

"I want a dick in a box."

"You should will them to someone."

"No, I'm not a generative person."

"wait! I didn't know youtube was around in the 50s"

"i don't think we're supposed to make Helen Keller jokes."

"I'm like a little child jumping on the mama...oh, I just spit up."

post chocolate chip pancakes at dinner

"I feel like I'm about to give birth to a giant chocolate chip"

"what's wrong with chocolate babies?!?!"

"I'll show you my lumpity bumps."

"If Helen Keller were psychic, would she call it her fourth sense?"

"You would not want to drink this. It is maple syrup."

"Wait, when is Jersey Shore on?"

"Oh Demi Moore. I wish I knew what your boobs looked like."

"Sandy's not here. I already grabbed and went."

on the sexual relations of internet radio

"I'm sure PandoraBoy would share Pandora's Box"

"I didn't know our neurons were so trashy. They kiss and run."

"You can't judge your weight on anything from Primark."

"I'll show you retrospect."

Did you see the dysentery around the corner, too?

"And the Oregon Trail was just down the street"